what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
