i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
