so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
