You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
