I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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