I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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