I don't usually arrange sex via text message
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
