Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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