My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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