How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
