I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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