EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
