fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
