idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
