Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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