I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
