weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
