he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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