We won't sleep together?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
