ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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