when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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