I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
