i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
