I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
