no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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