I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
