How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
