a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
