shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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