Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
