so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
