bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
