we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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