And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
