He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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