that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
