First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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