I want to have your abortion
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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