My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
