actually, I'm a sock model
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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