I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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