i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
