Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize