problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
