Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We need to rekindle our bromance
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
