He passed out mid-signature
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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