What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
