Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
