he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
