im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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