You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
