Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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