u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
