he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
