3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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