Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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