we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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