He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
