She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A+ Viking dick
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize