I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
