I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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