It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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