if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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