She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry my hands just texted you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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