next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
