why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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