I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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