why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
