Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Michael Bay diarrhea
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
