Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
