i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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