I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
