So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
